Posted in Poems

Sounds Familial

Beaches &

Invest in things that will always be profitable.

It kinda sounds like your dad.
Ain’t that some shit?


Posted in Poems


There are some people that say that Santa Clause is dead;
Garrett and I have a different view of the world.

I want to host a pre-party.      They want to legalize drugs.

Me, I have programs like         It’s really too big for
I have frozen hotdogs in         one person to handle.
my freezer.


[Sorry mobile users! Thanks to WP’s strange indenting function, this particular piece won’t show up properly on your device!]

Posted in Poems

The Dutch Bourgeois

He gets too
damn focused
on future events;

you can go right off

the deep end

with those.

The Dutch Bourgeois.

He doesn’t even know
what a Hell’s
looks like.



That’s the kinda man
I’d settle down

and just raw dog it.


Posted in Poems


I want
to deflower
my thirteen year old niece.
She doesn’t have a big place, there isn’t
room for a garden.

She ralphed
on a raccoon; what else is there to say?
I’m trying, but
could be a little more



Posted in Poems

Your Majesty

I just think of myself as royalty.

She chased me and said she wanted to stay with me;
I got really aggro,
just bashing her head in. Over and over.

This is how you use the internet.